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The One With The Good News

Today, I went to the doctor, which is unfortunately not an uncommon occurrence for me (or my son, for that matter). I had yet another follow-up with my neurosurgeon, who had always managed to crush all of my hopes and dreams with more bad news, more prescriptions, and more appointments.

Today, I walked in the office, sat in the lobby, and patiently waited for my name to be called. This week, it’s been a year since my ICU stay. I’ve “successfully” reached 365 self-injected blood thinners to the stomach, consecutive countless pills taken morning and before bed, and days full of headaches with no end in sight. I’m officially one year post-stroke and I’ve carried a hematoma and several blood clots with me every step of the way.

Today, my name was called and I walked back into the same room that I’ve entered what feels like a million times before. The same exam room where I’ve viewed hopeless brain scans showing worse results or no improvement from the one before. Even with memory loss, I still know the routine that always ends with ”See you again real soon.” They all know me by name and face and know my story by heart, probably better than I know it.

Today, however, I left that office with a burden lifted. No more scans, no more medicines, no more follow-ups. My veins, vessels, and arteries show no signs of blockage and my temporal lobe is healing. I can be free again and live a life that, just one year ago, I showed no promise of living. I can focus on being me and being the best mom that I can be, without having to wonder how much time I have left. More important than any scans, medication, and follow-ups, there are no more imminent “what-ifs” that existed before. I can get rid of all of the notes that I so meticulously updated with current information about my child “just in case.” I can rest a little bit easier knowing that I don’t have an increased risk of not waking up. I can focus more on the now instead of wondering what will happen “if I’m gone.”

Today, I got to look my son in the eyes for the first time and promise him that I will be around for infinite kisses, hugs, snuggles, and hair ruffles. I got to tell him that even though I was told that I would be lucky to see him turn one, I will be here for plenty more birthdays. We’ll be unstoppable because not only did we both defy the odds, we pummeled them.
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Location: Highland, NY 12528, USA

Comments

  1. NicoleMarch 9, 2018 at 10:13 AM

    Congrats! This is such great news! You must feel like you've been given a whole new life 😊

    ReplyDelete

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