The One Where It’s Worth It

I see and hear all too often parents publicly complaining about their children. I’m not referring to the mother who voices to her friends that she is exhausted because she didn’t sleep last night or the father who admits that he feels tired after working an extra long shift. This type of venting is necessary and required to make things work. What I am specifically talking about is the parent who seeks attention because “parenting is hard” and “all the baby does is cry” or how all their child “never leaves them alone.” I find that I don’t handle that very well. I see it on social media, I hear it in the grocery store and it hurts.

This has nothing to do with the fact that I think that I am a perfect mother because I’m not, nor do I think that I am. I struggle and am tired and get frustrated, of course. Why? Because being a parent is the hardest job in the world. It’s 24/7 and stops for nothing or no one. I voice it to someone close to me, mostly my husband, and I move on because my complaints beyond finding a solution aren’t going to stop his crying or make him sleep. That’s all in the realm of being a parent, being the one to fix the problem and remembering in the process that your little one is just that: little. They are crying because they are trying to communicate with you, they wake up because they need something, and they follow you around because you are their hero and their sense of home.

What I choose to capture and remember are the happy moments, the smiles and milestones reached and progress made. This isn’t to showcase the best version of myself or brag about a “perfect life,” but the greatest parts of my family are worth sharing. The happiness isn’t just a placeholder between the obvious struggles, the hard parts should be just blips on the radar in comparison. They make the difficulties worth it, ten-fold.

I probably do this because I was almost on the other side. Dealing with infertility almost robbed me of a dream that I’ve had since I was a child. When my baby was born, there were discussions based solely on his chance of survival. If you’re reading this as a parent, please remember the alternatives. I know that I do every day because I know what could have been and that it can easily happen to anyone. Even with every blow of news that’s not so great, I think of what could have been and I know we will handle the other hurdles somehow.

You shouldn’t have to almost have something taken away to appreciate it. We hear a lot about children taking their parents for granted as they grow older. I feel that little is said about the opposite: don’t take your child for granted.