Just Brave Enough

It is often asked "How many weeks was he?" or "How much did he weigh?" when the topic of my son being premature arises. These answers have become routine, the words flow out of my mouth before my brain can even formulate a sentence; it's almost a reflex. The truth is, however, having a preemie and enduring a NICU stay is anything but routine. That is why we need NICU Awareness Month. I've seen what a two-pound baby looks like. I've seen translucent skin, tinted blue, peering out beneath tangled wires and tubes. I've seen a life stop breathing and a chest rise and fall with the help of a machine. I've seen eyes fused shut. I've seen hands the size of my fingertips, a head that fits in my palm, and a bottom that sits on three of my fingers. I've seen countless needles and heel pricks. I've seen an unbelievably small body under bright lights. I've seen an incubator shrouded with medical professionals day after day, planning the bes...

We are coming up on Flynn's first birthday. Unlike some parents, I am not sad that he's getting older. I'm actually excited for him to be growing and learning and turning one, even though time has flown by. What I am  anxious about is recalling the events of one year ago. I am afraid to relive the day my baby was born. I’m sure I’m not alone in saying this. I’m positive that there are other mothers out there that experience this feeling, namely parents of babies that were born prematurely or under traumatic circumstances. I see the dates pass by and, in my head, I’m recreating what exactly went wrong and how. It’s like watching a horrific accident unfold, but I can’t stop it. I know that I can’t be the only one, yet I feel so isolated. Who wishes that they could just forget something that should have been so magical? The day that my child was born was not the happiest day of my life, it was the scariest and most traumatizing. It’s a day that I try not to think about and...

My son is the light of my life. I love opening my eyes to his smile every morning and rocking him to sleep at night. He is so pure and innocent, yet so strong. As a new mom, he has taught me every single thing that I know. He reassures me and comforts me. He makes me feel each day that I have done something right, but I wish that I could shelter him from every bad thing that he will come to know. Over time, I have learned that even babies aren't safe from labels. Luckily, Flynn is too little to realize this right now and I can protect him in every way that I can. Being born prematurely is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, especially because these babies defy all odds to simply survive. I have been surprised, though, by how some people can be so insensitive and unaccommodating. Flynn and I love to go out and about. He gets excited to see new places and people and be with his friends, even if it means going to the doctor's office (again). On days where we are stuck inside,...

If I had to describe my life in one word it would be privileged . Not in the sense where I was born holding a silver spoon or that I didn't have to work for how far I've come, but I have been very blessed with all that I have gotten. I would even go as far to say that some things have come easily and that my path in life was seemingly paved. Regardless of how things fall into place for someone, I think that it's safe to say that everyone has a life plan, with both long-term and short-term goals. In my case, it appeared as though my map was drawn in permanent marker instead of pencil. At least it was, until someone took a giant magic eraser and sent me into a tailspin and wreaked total havoc on my Pinterest boards. I had my wedding planned at five years old. In 1997, we unfortunately lost the beautiful Princess Diana. I was a bit too young to completely understand, but what I did see was footage from her wedding to Prince Charles play over and over again on my television d...